I'll try to make it a habit of writing something every night (or whenever I'm home), because oftentimes I find myself wanting to write about a million things but in the end not writing about them because there's too much shit I want to write. It's a classic example of me being too lazy to do something.

Soooo.. I guess tonight I'll start writing about friends. To be honest, I feel like I have a hard time making deep connections with others. I don't really have any 'best' friends right now, or at least none I can think of at the moment. I don't have any friends at home who are my best friends, and I highly doubt any of them think of me as a best friend. The pathetic thing is I've gone to the same high school as most of them, meaning I've spent 4 years with them. Truth is, I didn't really have many friends or start 'hanging out' with my current friend group until senior year when I started driving. Sure, I made some connections at school, but I don't know what it was about me, whether it was coming from a different middle school than everybody else or thinking that everyone would think I were a loser if they actually go to know me (although I don't think I'm that much of a loser anymore =.=). There are plenty of things I can blame this on.

I'm sure going to 4 different elementary schools never helped. The family kept moving around, and, well, when you're 8 you can't really do anything about it. This meant I had to meet new kids almost every year, and never get to know them for more than 2 years, tops. This leads me to 2 theories: I never learned how to become super close to anyone when I was younger (developmental ages), and (well this isn't really a theory, it's a fact) people who've known each other since kindergarten are much closer to each other than they will be to me. Fact is, the more time you spend with someone, the closer you are to them. 13 > 4.

This makes me look pretty damn pathetic, so I'll finish the post off by saying this: I'm not using these reasons as an excuse or anything. I know a couple kids who didn't know anyone coming into high school like myself (even David transferred sophomore year, so he's had a year less than me), and they've fit in nicely in their friend groups and such. And look at college: most people don't know too many other people when they first get there, and they meet tons of new people their first year. I'm in that same position, and I'd be foolish not to take advantage of it. I have 3 more years, and I already feel like I'm friends with more people than I am with back home. So there's a bit of hope mate.

Cheers 

New Beginnings?

So I've decided to go about this blog a bit differently than I intended to, most information taken from my good friend James's blog, you can find it here: itschai.tumblr.com

Basically, his posts are more:

1) Informal

2) Personal

3) Humorous

Not only does this draw the reader in, it'll also make it easier for me to write more and keep the blog updated. Not that many of you read this.

I'm not going to be too informal, for example I'll try to stick to the generally accepted spelling, capitalization and grammar rules. But I'm not writing a goddamn essay or anything, so I'm not going to be writing like one which is what I was sort of trying to do with the first couple posts. As for being more personal, I'll do things now like mention people by name and write a bit more about personal things in my life, but let me know if you read this and see your name and want it removed (again highly unlikely).

I almost forgot what it feels like to work for an hour without any distractions and just immerse yourself in work. At that point, you don't consciously realize you're working, it's great. You're just getting what you're supposed to get done, done. I imagine this is what college students experience on a daily basis.

This is the first time I've felt like this since first semester. Which is pretty sad, considering the money my parents pay. But this brings me to my next point. One shouldn't worry about how they screwed up in the past, except to learn from it and apply that to their present and future (cliché, I know, but I had to write it down). You just have to keep going, because if you let the past bog you down and you keep regretting it, what good comes from that? Just keep moving forward and make the best of what you have.

Regret is an odd emotion. It's not particularly useful, except it can help you sometimes realize what you did wrong and how to improve it. But other than that, I feel as if it's one that hinders you in moving forward, unless you learn how to utilize it and then get over it.

Broke my ankle last night. Spent 8 hours at the ER, was discharged at almost 9 AM. PL was a boss and drove me to the hospital, then stuck around for 5 hours and got some food for us. Kudos to him.

The next 6 weeks are going to be a pain in the ass. I have to pack everything and move boxes (which is going to be impossible and means recruiting others to do it for me, which I dislike), and when I get back I won't be able to drive. I have to rubber-band a trash bag to my leg whenever I shower. Not to mention the trip to Alabama might not happen, which I was looking forward to.

Anyways. Shit happens, you have to move on and take the positives with you. One thing I've come to realize is how much it means for friends to come visit when you're sick or have an injury. Not only does it make your life that much easier when they bring you food and help you get ice and whatnot, but it makes you feel cared for and loved. It means so much more when you're in a time of need. It's funny, because I really didn't give that much thought to this when other people were sick or hurt. Now that I know, it's definitely going to change how I react to others' misfortunes/illnesses/injuries. I just wish I had know/realized this earlier.

I'd truly like to say thanks to everyone who visited yesterday. The food and company was much appreciated. And as I've learned, it means a lot. Thank you.

Here Goes

So I've decided to start this blog for 3 main reasons:

1) Help spruce up/maintain my writing skills (or at least what's left of them). The last time I took a writing course was about a year ago, and I'm afraid I might lose some of those important skills.

2) I've had the desire to write down my thoughts and reflections for a while now, sort of like an online journal.

3) Broke my ankle last night so I'm stuck in bed doing nothing for a large part of the day. And of course, anything to help with the procrastination.

The point of this isn't to try and generate a lot of traffic or anything like that. I'm not going to advertise this blog and try to get everyone to read it. It's simply a place for me to write things down every once in a while, get my brain going, maybe reach some new conclusions, figure my life out, the whole spiel. Isn't that what everyone wants?